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books and reading

This Is Where It Ends

Title: This Is Where It Ends

Author: Marieke Nijkamp

Genre: YA thriller

PopSugar Reading Challenge prompt: book with something broken on the cover

This book was on my kindle because I had bought it at some point, but I couldn’t remember why or even what it was about. But when I was scrolling through the books on my TBR and saw the broken chalk on this cover, it was an easy pick for the prompt. Turns out, it’s about a school shooting.

Columbine changed this country. I was actually in my first year of teaching when it happened. The ramifications were immediate. Dress codes changed, security changed, lockdown drills were created. Then Sandy Hook happened. I was at home with my new baby watching that unfold on the news. I remember wondering if I would ever be comfortable sending him to school. And I mostly am okay with it due to our school’s security, but having him at home virtual learning because of the pandemic definitely makes me worry less. Then Parkland happened. And…. nothing changed. No laws changed. No action taken. Apparently, this country needs guns more than it needs children.

From Goodreads: Everyone has a reason to fear the boy with the gun…

10:00 a.m.: The principal of Opportunity, Alabama’s high school finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.
10:02 a.m.: The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.

10:03: The auditorium doors won’t open.
10:05: Someone starts shooting.

In 54 minutes, four students must confront their greatest hopes, and darkest fears, as they come face-to-face with the boy with the gun.

Given the terrible topic, this book was good. It’s odd to me that books like this are published, when Stephen King wrote about a school shooting in one of his earliest books, Rage, but he has let it go out of print due to the horrific subject. Are we desensitized to school shootings at this point? Seems like it. No one is shocked anymore when they happen. And nothing changes. I wonder when people will take a stand and do something about it.

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books and reading

Parkland

Let me start this off by saying that if you think the Parkland kids need to stay in their lane, are crisis actors, or don’t support any kind of gun reform, stop reading. This post isn’t for you.

I was in my first year of teaching when Columbine happened. I came home from a day with my sixth graders to terrible news. I was riveted, watching children running, crying, climbing out of windows, and I had no idea how much my world would change. We had drills, needed key cards to get into locked doors, students had a stricter dress code with no black, no concert shirts, no trenchcoats allowed. Even though we had drills, I have taught in some very unsafe buildings, though.  Doors were unlocked, no police presence, and it terrified me. And the thought of arming teachers is sickening, as one teacher says in this book, (paraphrasing) “how can you ask me to kill one of my own students?” and it’s true. Teachers are nurturers, provide guidance and support, and in an instant, we would be expected to shoot one of ours. It’s unthinkable.

I followed the Parkland story closely, but I had no idea what all these kids accomplished. And I call them kids with the utmost respect. They are. It’s simple. Most of them were 16 or 17 when they were forced into adulthood, well before they were ready. Many didn’t handle it well, although some did, finding their voices overnight, some within hours, even. A dozen of the survivors came together in a perfect storm of media and made a life-changing decision. They were going to tackle gun reform.

These kids handled themselves brilliantly. They took on lawmakers and politicians. They rallied millions in March For Our Lives. They recruited other teens across the country to join their cause. And they did it with very little adult help. Simply, they are a true inspiration. I was absolutely in awe of these amazing young people.

Written by Dave Cullen, the same author who wrote one of the most important, yet harrowing books I’ve ever read, Columbine, this book has a very different tone. Columbine is hard to read. It is as gut-wrenching and painful as it is gripping and horrifying. The story is about HOW. How could the Columbine shooting have happened? How did the shooters come together with this plan? How did the survivors manage their lives? How have we changed because of this event? Because it was published ten years after the shooting, Cullen had plenty of time to research and draw conclusions. Parkland is simply about these kids and all they have accomplished. Clearly, Cullen supports gun reform (just check out his twitter feed) and this book makes no bones about what the kids are trying to accomplish. But Cullen also simply reports. He watches the kids, follows them on tours, interviews them, and, on occasion, gets into their inner sanctum office. This book isn’t a profile of any particular kid, even though the movement definitely has it’s more well-known faces, but an excellent portrayal of how they worked together to change the country, and I’m a firm believer that these kids have.

I only teared up once. My gut was never wrenched. My heartstrings were never pulled. Instead, I was motivated, proud, inspired, and in awe of these amazing kids.

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books and reading

The Hour I First Believed

This is my third foray into Wally Lamb’s world. I read She’s Come Undone years and years ago and remember liking it, but not much about it. I read I Know This Much is True and couple years ago and was absolutely blown away. I loved it. So, when I had to read a book about a difficult subject for this year’s reading challenge, I knew who to turn to. So far, every one of Lamb’s books cover some difficult subject, or ten, but this one in particular resonated with me.

Caelum Quirk and his wife, Maureen, work at Columbine High School. Yes, that Columbine. Although, the Quirks are fictional characters, Lamb is using them as examples for what people went through after the tragedy. Caelum was out of town when the shooting occurred, but Maureen was in the library and heard everything that was said and done. Her PTSD becomes chronic, and she struggles with basic tasks.

These events happen only the first third of the book, so you know there is a lot more story to tell. The Quirks move back home to Connecticut to try and recover and returns to some form of normalcy. Along the way, they have major setbacks. I really enjoyed this story, but Caelum is really just a a giant asshole. It was a struggle for me to feel any kind of sympathy for him. He gets a bit better as the book progresses, and I know that no one is perfect, but he was really awful towards Maureen while she was struggling. There is a huge side story about Caelum’s ancestors that I didn’t find all that interesting. I admit that I skimmed much of that part (namely the letters his great-grandmother wrote.)

Overall, I gave the book 4 stars, in spite of the above mentioned deficiencies, because I felt that it was a personal preference rather than a lack of writing ability on Lamb’s part. His books are rarely easy to read, tackling the most difficult of subjects, but he is a great storyteller and I look forward to reading his other books.