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Dirtbag, Massachusetts: A Confessional

Title: Dirtbag, Massachusetts: A Confessional

Author: Isaac Fitzgerald

Genre: memoir

Thank you, NetGalley, for this book!

I have known Isaac Fitzgerald for over a decade. I was a founding member of The Rumpus Book Club for several years. Isaac was the co-owner, managing editor, and moderator of our club’s message boards. He was like the fun uncle who had to get on to us every now and then to remind us to move our very off-topic conversations to our community threads rather than the book discussion threads. Through that book club, I made some excellent friends (hi, guys) who have kept in touch, and we read some books every now and then that are meaningful to our group: works by Adam Levin, Camille Bordas, and some upcoming ones by Elissa Bassist and Yuri Zalkow.

Although I got this book from NetGalley ages ago, I waited to read it until my friends could read, also. But, my mistake, I thought it was coming out this week, so I’m a week ahead. No matter. We will all get caught up soon enough. To read something by someone I’ve known for quite some time, although don’t really know at all, was a really interesting experience. I’ve heard Isaac’s voice a dozen times from his Today Show book suggestion segments. Side note: he always recommends excellent books. So, I could hear him coming through my kindle.

There are two types of memoirs. First: My life is so hard (it’s not) and I really need people to understand me (feel sorry for me) and my life of privilege really doesn’t matter (it does). Second: My life was hard (it was), but I take responsibility for my actions and admit, in the grand scheme of things, that I still had it pretty good compared to a lot of other people (because I am white). This book falls into the second category.

Isaac is an excellent writer, but he’s also very honest. This book pulls back the curtain on a lot of dark events of his life. Between having a trauma-filled childhood, never feeling comfortable in his skin, constantly searching for meaning and purpose, and wanting to do well in the world, Isaac lets the reader see what troubles him most. I loved this book. That’s odd to say because Isaac’s life was difficult, so I don’t want it to seem like I’m glad of that because it made for a good story. But I found Issac’s honesty and subsequent healing from all his trauma hopeful for his future. He seems to be in a much better place, which is what we all want for ourselves, no matter what our pasts reveal.

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Born a Crime

Title: Born a Crime

Author: Trevor Noah

Genre: memoir

Since I’m the last person on the planet to read this much-hyped book, I figure that since I’m on a roll with celebrity memoirs, I might as well. I do wish I could have listened to it, but since I rarely do that, my standby ebook format would have to suffice. I know absolutely nothing about Trevor Noah, other than his job as the host of The Daily Show and the fact that he’s from South Africa. I’ve seen clips of TDS, and he’s really funny, but I don’t watch it. So learning about his childhood wasn’t something I sought out because I’m a fan of his. It’s just been recommended so many times by so many people that I thought, why not?

From Goodreads: Trevor Noah’s unlikely path from apartheid South Africa to the desk of The Daily Show began with a criminal act: his birth. Trevor was born to a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents’ indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the earliest years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, steal him away. Finally liberated by the end of South Africa’s tyrannical white rule, Trevor and his mother set forth on a grand adventure, living openly and freely and embracing the opportunities won by a centuries-long struggle.

Born a Crime is the story of a mischievous young boy who grows into a restless young man as he struggles to find himself in a world where he was never supposed to exist. It is also the story of that young man’s relationship with his fearless, rebellious, and fervently religious mother—his teammate, a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence, and abuse that would ultimately threaten her own life.

This book was great. Trevor Noah is known for his humor, which is evident throughout the entire story. I laughed a lot, but it’s also a really heartfelt read. He loves his mother dearly, even though she was hard on him. He understood that her stubbornness was always from a place of love. She tried to teach them the ways of the world and how life as a mixed boy (his words) in S. Africa was the hardest life imaginable. They were also very poor. Like eating caterpillar sandwiches poor. Even if you aren’t necessarily a fan of his, the book is funny and engaging. I really enjoyed it, and I have a new respect for Noah. He certainly worked hard to get where he is.

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Will

Title: Will

Author: Will Smith

Genre: memoir

And….yet another celebrity memoir. I promise that’s not all I’m going to read these days. Although, I’m reading another right now. Ack! I guess I’m saving up all the ones I would have read during the year for right now. I can’t say I learned a whole lot of “dirt” in this one, unlike the other two, but Will certainly thinks highly of himself, which is definitely earned. In the 2000s, he couldn’t be beaten at the box office. But as he’s grown older, he has learned to take a step back and look at what’s really important in life.

From Goodreads: One of the most dynamic and globally recognized entertainment forces of our time opens up fully about his life, in a brave and inspiring book that traces his learning curve to a place where outer success, inner happiness, and human connection are aligned. Along the way, Will tells the story in full of one of the most amazing rides through the worlds of music and film that anyone has ever had.

Will Smith’s transformation from a fearful child in a tense West Philadelphia home to one of the biggest rap stars of his era and then one of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood history, with a string of box office successes that will likely never be broken, is an epic tale of inner transformation and outer triumph, and Will tells it astonishingly well. But it’s only half the story.

Will Smith thought, with good reason, that he had won at life: not only was his own success unparalleled, his whole family was at the pinnacle of the entertainment world. Only they didn’t see it that way: they felt more like star performers in his circus, a seven-days-a-week job they hadn’t signed up for. It turned out Will Smith’s education wasn’t nearly over.

This memoir is the product of a profound journey of self-knowledge, a reckoning with all that your will can get you and all that it can leave behind. Written with the help of Mark Manson, author of the multi-million-copy bestseller The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Will is the story of how one person mastered his own emotions, written in a way that can help everyone else do the same. Few of us will know the pressure of performing on the world’s biggest stages for the highest of stakes, but we can all understand that the fuel that works for one stage of our journey might have to be changed if we want to make it all the way home. The combination of genuine wisdom of universal value and a life story that is preposterously entertaining, even astonishing, puts Will the book, like its author, in a category by itself.

When someone is young and makes it big, I think it’s often a rough go. Will’s parents were guiding forces in his life, but he still made poor decisions, ended up broke and lost, and had no idea what to do. Getting the Fresh Price tv show broke open his world, and he never looked back. But Will wasn’t just the greatest guy. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he never put others first. He was first. Always. His marriage suffered. His kids suffered. His own happiness always won. So, over the course of the book, his self-realization is really refreshing. He admits his mistakes and owns them. He explains who he is now and what outlook he has. I certainly recommend this for fans of his. You will see him in a new light.

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Going There

Title: Going There

Author: Katie Couric

Genre: Memoir

I really don’t read celebrity memoirs, but here we are again. I am a Today Show junkie and have always loved Katie Couric, so when I saw she had written her story, I knew I would read it. And it was definitely worth it. She’s honest and genuine. She doesn’t hold back about a lot of topics including the misogyny in her field and the downfall of her dear friend, (no longer, though) Matt Lauer. She talks a lot about the death of her husband, the father of her children, Jay Monahan. And she reflects upon the good and bad of her career.

From Goodreads: For more than forty years, Katie Couric has been an iconic presence in the media world. In her brutally honest, hilarious, heartbreaking memoir, she reveals what was going on behind the scenes of her sometimes tumultuous personal and professional life – a story she’s never shared, until now. Of the medium she loves, the one that made her a household name, she says, “Television can put you in a box; the flat-screen can flatten. On TV, you are larger than life but smaller, too. It is not the whole story, and it is not the whole me. This book is.”

Beginning in early childhood, Couric was inspired by her journalist father to pursue the career he loved but couldn’t afford to stay in. Balancing her vivacious, outgoing personality with her desire to be taken seriously, she overcame every obstacle in her way: insecurity, an eating disorder, being typecast, sexism . . . challenges, and how she dealt with them, setting the tone for the rest of her career. Couric talks candidly about adjusting to sudden fame after her astonishing rise to co-anchor of the TODAY show, and guides us through the most momentous events and news stories of the era, to which she had a front-row seat:  Rodney King, Anita Hill, Columbine, the death of Princess Diana, 9/11, the Iraq War . . . In every instance, she relentlessly pursued the facts, ruffling more than a few feathers along the way.  She also recalls in vivid and sometimes lurid detail the intense pressure on female anchors to snag the latest “get”—often sensational tabloid stories like Jon Benet Ramsey, Tonya Harding, and OJ Simpson.

Couric’s position as one of the leading lights of her profession was shadowed by the shock and trauma of losing her husband to stage 4 colon cancer when he was just 42, leaving her a widow and single mom to two daughters, 6 and 2. The death of her sister Emily, just three years later, brought yet more trauma—and an unwavering commitment to cancer awareness and research, one of her proudest accomplishments.

 Couric is unsparing in the details of her historic move to the anchor chair at the CBS Evening News—a world rife with sexism and misogyny.  Her “welcome” was even more hostile at 60 Minutes, an unrepentant boys club that engaged in outright hazing of even the most established women.  In the wake of the MeToo movement, Couric shares her clear-eyed reckoning with gender inequality and predatory behavior in the workplace, and the downfall of Matt Lauer—a colleague she had trusted and respected for more than a decade.

Couric also talks about the challenge of finding love again, with all the hilarity, false starts, and drama that search entailed, before finding her midlife Mr. Right.  Something she has never discussed publicly—why her second marriage almost didn’t happen. 

If you thought you knew Katie Couric, think again. Going There is the fast-paced, emotional, riveting story of a thoroughly modern woman, whose journey took her from humble origins to superstardom. In these pages, you will find a friend, a confidante, a role model, a survivor whose lessons about life will enrich your own.

Katie is an excellent writer, and her humor comes through loud and clear in this book. She’s also very honest. I believe her when she said she had no idea what Lauer was doing behind the scenes. I also appreciated her ability to look at her past self and declare her questions “tone deaf” at times. We have learned a lot in the past twenty years about how to ask questions that are more sensitive to others, especially to people of color, where Couric admittedly failed many times. But those conversations are what we need. We need to be able to reflect upon the past and learn from our cringe-worthy mistakes. I learned a lot about Couric through this book, mostly that she is just another person. She loves her parents and family. She struggled to be a present mom while balancing her demanding career. And she explains how she faced the worst when dealing with her husband’s death. Anyone who is a fan of hers will love this book.

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Unguarded

Title: Unguarded

Authors: Scottie Pippen and Michael Arkush

Genre: memoir

I love basketball. Like LOVE. And I hate the Bulls. I hate Michael Jordan, even more now than back in the day. I respect his ability, but as a person, he’s just not a good guy. After watching The Last Dance, this is confirmed. Pippen, however, has always had a soft spot in my heart. Sure, I hated him when he was beating my beloved Lakers. But I could see he was full of fire, determination, and quiet kindness. Maybe not on the court, but off, he seemed like an underpaid, underappreciated guy. Always in MJ’s shadow. And when MJ retired, Pippen couldn’t put it together. Of course he couldn’t. He was missing the best player in the league, but the team did the best it could. So when I heard this was Pippen’s answer to The Last Dance (for which Michael got paid millions and the other people interviewed got $0), I was ready. (Personal note: I LOVED BJ Armstrong. I even have his autograph somewhere.)

From Goodreads: Scottie Pippen has been called one of the greatest NBA players for good reason.

Simply put, without Pippen, there are no championship banners—let alone six—hanging from the United Center rafters. There’s no Last Dance documentary. There’s no “Michael Jordan” as we know him. The 1990s Chicago Bulls teams would not exist as we know them.

So how did the youngest of twelve go from growing up poor in the small town of Hamburg, Arkansas, enduring two family tragedies along the way, to become a revered NBA legend? How did the scrawny teen, overlooked by every major collegiate basketball program, go on to become the fifth overall pick in the 1987 NBA Draft? And, perhaps most compelling, how did Pippen set aside his ego (and his own limitless professional ceiling) in order for the Bulls to become the most dominant basketball dynasty of the last half-century? (ahem, personal note: no. 60s era Celtics were the most dominant in the last half-century.)

In Unguarded, the soft-spoken, six-time champion and two-time Olympic gold medalist finally opens up to offer pointed and transparent takes on Michael Jordan, Phil Jackson, and Isiah Thomas, among others. Pippen details how he cringed at being labeled Jordan’s sidekick and discusses how he could have (and should have) received more respect from the Bulls’ management and the media.

Pippen reveals never-before-told stories about some of the most famous games in league history, including the 1994 playoff game against the New York Knicks when he took himself out with 1.8 seconds to go. He discusses what it was like dealing with Jordan on a day-to-day basis, while serving as the real leader within the Bulls locker room.

On the 30th anniversary of the Bulls’ first championship, Pippen is finally giving millions of adoring basketball fans what they crave; a raw, unvarnished look into his life, and role within one of the greatest, most popular teams of all time.

This book is mostly about Pippen’s life on the court, but he also discusses his humble childhood with both a disabled brother and father. Pippen is one of several children, and times were tough. His family is close, which helped keep him grounded. Pippen holds nothing back in this book. He minces no words about Jordan, GM Jerry Krause, fellow players, members of the media, coaches, on and on. He lets you know how frustrated it was time and time again to be underappreciated. This book was a lot of fun. I love trips down basketball memory lane and have read Three-Ring Circus: Kobe, Shaq, Phil and the Crazy Years of the Lakers Dynasty, Dream Team, and When the Game Was Ours. I have Showtime (about the Lakers) coming up soon. For anyone who enjoyed 80s and 90s NBA, you’ll enjoy this fun look back.

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The One collection

Title/Author: Before Her/Jacqueline Woodson

Parable/Jess Walter

A Wedding Thing/Shea Serrano

Yes, And/Kristi Coulter

The Visitor/Dodai Stewart

Speed Grieving/Allison Ellis

Lila/Naima Coster

I’m really enjoying these Amazon originals short stories. However, this one was a little different. These were all non-fiction. I’m not normally one for love stories, but these weren’t your average boy meets girl tales. Some were girl meets girl. One of these was about a family pet, even. In any case, I did enjoy them all, but a couple were standouts to me.

From Goodreads: Before Her- Before Jacqueline Woodson met Juliet, before her own self-realization, there were decades of friends, lovers, and family who defined the woman she’d become. In this haunting story of memory and identity, Jacqueline shares the profound impact they had on bending the path of her life; how they informed the dreams of her future; and how each one—some lost, all loved—would bring her to Juliet, her one and only.

Parable- In this funny remembrance of an unusual triangle, Jess learns to accept what’s best for the one animal he has ever loved. After all, he gave his heart to the Australian shepherd mix he’d rescued. What alternative has he other than to give the restless girl her freedom? But in doing so, Jess discovers more about himself, the nature of affection and attachment, the inevitability of loss, and how much Millie means to so many.

A Wedding Thing- Two days before Shea and Larami Serrano were to be married, four months into her pregnancy with twin boys, she went into labor. Stuck in a hospital room, fearing the worst, and dismantling a year’s worth of preparations in a matter of hours—the couple decides that the show must go on. Told from Shea’s and Larami’s dual perspectives, this memoir shows the powerful bond that can arise from adversity, a sense of humor, and mutual trust.

Yes, And- When Kristi Coulter’s husband proposed, she didn’t admit her fears. When they exchanged vows, she didn’t reveal that she was terrified that marriage would ruin her life. During fifteen years of genuinely happy marriage, she never said a word about another man in her life. Then she comes clean—about all of it—and discovers a new world.

The Visitor- One cold, lonely night, Manhattan writer Dodai Stewart meets a charming stranger on an internet dating site. He’s sexy. He’s smart. He’s funny. There’s an instant spark. And one unavoidable catch: adorable Marco lives in San Francisco. So how far is Dodai willing to go, and how much will she sacrifice, to find that elusive One she’s heard so much about? Cross-country travel, emotional outbursts of love, and time will inevitably tell.

Speed Grieving- When Allison Ellis’s husband died of an unexpected heart attack, there was no playbook for a thirty-three-year-old widow with a breastfeeding infant. In her grief, she devised a practical strategy: find a new husband within twelve months. What transpired was a year of mourning, manic dating, and breaking hearts across Seattle on a deadline mission to heal her own.

Lila- When Naima Coster met Lila, they were girls of color in a predominantly white private school in Manhattan. As adolescents they found each other and needed each other. As each comes of age, and new bonds pull them apart, the friendship splinters. What happens when Naima and Lila turn to one another again—this time as women? And what will it take to recapture the connection that once meant the world to them?

Parable, about the family dog, was my favorite. It was hilarious. And, oddly enough, our family got a dog yesterday. This particular dog isn’t very loyal and keeps running away from home. Ends up loving the neighbor more, who also loves it. So the two families share her a lot. I also enjoyed A Wedding Thing because when you’re pregnant, babies have other plans! Thankfully all turned out well for the babies, but the wedding ended up differently than expected. This series has something for everyone, really. Love isn’t just about marital love. Love between friends, lovers, parents, pets, etc. I thoroughly enjoyed each unique story.

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How We Fight For Our Lives

Title: How We Fight For Our Lives

Author: Saeed Jones

Genre: memoir

I’ve been following Jones on Twitter for quite some time. He’s quite entertaining, but I just now starting reading his writing. I read his book of poetry, Prelude to Bruise, and it’s just gorgeous. I’m not a big poetry reader, so I didn’t review it. I’m not sure how to even comment on it. But his words are very powerful. I definitely recommend it. After reading that book, I knew I wanted to delve into his memoir. And I was not disappointed. His style of writing is moving. I was captivated.

From Goodreads: Haunted and haunting, Jones’s memoir tells the story of a young, black, gay man from the South as he fights to carve out a place for himself, within his family, within his country, within his own hopes, desires, and fears. Through a series of vignettes that chart a course across the American landscape, Jones draws readers into his boyhood and adolescence—into tumultuous relationships with his mother and grandmother, into passing flings with lovers, friends and strangers. Each piece builds into a larger examination of race and queerness, power and vulnerability, love and grief: a portrait of what we all do for one another—and to one another—as we fight to become ourselves.

Blending poetry and prose, Jones has developed a style that is equal parts sensual, beautiful, and powerful—a voice that’s by turns a river, a blues, and a nightscape set ablaze. How We Fight for Our Lives is a one of a kind memoir and a book that cements Saeed Jones as an essential writer for our time.

Being gay in America is challenging. Being Black in America is extraordinarily challenging. Being a Black gay man, well, every single card is stacked against you. Jones grew up just north of Dallas, an area I’m abundantly familiar with, and his recollection of the prejudice isn’t at all shocking. The child of a single mother, he struggled on every front. A lot of this book deals with his struggles with being gay, but not just that. He deals with loss, power, abuse, and struggle. The language is just gorgeous. Jones was a born writer. I read this in one sitting. It’s really a must-read for anyone. I absolutely loved it.

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In the Dream House

Title: In the Dream House

Author: Carmen Maria Machado

Genre: memoir

Domestic abuse in lesbian relationships isn’t something most people realize exists. It isn’t studied or written about. Many just assume that because women are usually on the receiving end of abuse, that two women together would be more peaceful. However, as this book illustrates, that isn’t the case. Machado tells us her story of being in an abusive relationship with a woman. Not only is this book important, but it’s beautifully written and told in a unique way.

From Goodreads: For years Carmen Maria Machado has struggled to articulate her experiences in an abusive same-sex relationship. In this extraordinarily candid and radically inventive memoir, Machado tackles a dark and difficult subject with wit, inventiveness and an inquiring spirit, as she uses a series of narrative tropes—including classic horror themes—to create an entirely unique piece of work which is destined to become an instant classic.

Machado’s story is told in mini-essays throughout the book. In each, she discusses events that occurred in their relationship, her viewpoints, her dreams, anything and everything. So much of it is philosophical and had I owned my own copy (thanks, library), it would have been one that I underlined a lot in because of the thoughts and phrases spoke to me. However, this book is about abuse and might be a difficult read for some, whether you are a lesbian or not doesn’t really matter, but the abuse will be familiar to many. But I really loved this book and definitely recommend it.

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Educated

Title: Educated

Author: Tara Westover

Genre: memoir

PopSugar Reading Challenge Prompt: book set in multiple countries

How in the world did it take me so long to read this book? Of course, I’ve heard about it, but I never really read a blurb of it. I thought it had something to do with the education system and how bad it was. Totally my fault for not investigating more. I started listening to this book, but I couldn’t find enough time to do so, and I was dying to read more and more and more, so I got it on ebook, so I could fly through it. This book is exactly how a memoir should be written. I’ve read a lot, and most are just a sequence of events retelling, but this one is so cleverly crafted.

From Goodreads: Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her “head-for-the-hills bag”. In the summer, she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father’s junkyard.

Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent.

Then, lacking any formal education, Tara began to educate herself. She taught herself enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University, where she studied history, learning for the first time about important world events like the Holocaust and the civil rights movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home.

Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes and the will to change it.

Holy. Smokes. My jaw just dropped so many times while reading this. The terror that Tara went through really is indescribable. The mental and physical abuse she suffered at the hands of her family is horrific. And although her family is Mormon and her dad is bipolar, Tara never presents these facts as FACTS about Mormonism or people with bipolar disorder. The book is a representation of Tara’s experience only, not about Mormonism or bipolar disorder as a whole. She knows her experience was singular. I could not put this book down. The story itself is captivating, but it was also so well-written. Absolutely compelling.

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The Fact of a Body: A Murder and a Memoir

Trigger Warnings. Some people abide by them, request them, honor them. Some feel like they are useless, a waste of time. catering to a “wimpy” generation. However you may feel about them, it’s almost impossible to escape the fact that our society has its problems that many are uncomfortable discussing or dealing with. Maybe people have pasts filled with trauma, which can be brought to the surface at any moment by something as small as a photograph, a smell, a word. Whether you include trigger warnings in your writing or discussions is entirely up to you. But how do you escape being triggered when your entire career is filled with them? Alexandria Marzano-Lesnivich deals with this very question in her memoir/true crime book.

As a child, Alexandria was molested by a family member for several years. The description is gut-wrenching and difficult to read, even for a person who has never been through a similar experience. And when Alexandria becomes an adult, she decides to be a defense attorney, having to defend the very same kind of person: a child molester. She is a law student when she first encounters the story of Ricky Langley, a convicted child molester who also killed a young boy. The story of Ricky isn’t as cut and dry as you might think. When Ricky’s mom was pregnant, she was in the hospital following a car accident, pumped full of dozens of drugs. She nor the doctors knew she was pregnant. Ricky has been mentally troubled since he was a child, thinking his older brother, though dead from the same car accident, would come and speak to him. And although Ricky wasn’t found legally insane, Alexandria asks whether or not he deserves the punishment bestowed upon him.

As the story evolves, more of Ricky’s story and Alexandria’s story unfolds. In her effort to try and understand Ricky and his motivation, she is forced to deal with her own trauma and her feelings towards her own molester. As difficult as the subject matter of this book is, I still highly recommend it because of how beautifully it is written, how well-researched it is, and how far Alexandria is willing to go in her own discovery of herself and of this case. I love a good true crime book, and this one is one of the better ones I’ve read in awhile.